The Wonder of Worship

Yesterday was the day we celebrate the Resurrection of Christ (Easter Sunday). I was visiting my mom's church and they had joined in the celebration with the vineyard church that they share facilities with. Walking in in my jeans with a nice sweater and a necklace to add a little spice (I thought I had dressed quit casual) I felt over dressed. I began to look around and think about the differences between my church and this one and how each body of believers is so unique and yet we all worship Christ. I began to reflect on worship as I saw some dancers start to wave flags in the room, while others were standing barely even singing. I remembered how David commanded his soul to bless the Lord and how he danced before God and I wondered - is that what really entering in to the presence of God is all about? I know that worship is more than just singing - but as collectively gathered believers today- it does revolve a lot around singing (should it only? what about prayer and other forms of worship?)

Then the song "Jesus, I surrender" began and I thought - Lord what does surrender really look like? Do we have to take on a particular position (hands raised, kneeling, dancing...)? I, who want to be free in my worship to God was starting to feel like I should dance myself because others around me were doing it - but is that truly the heart of worship - to do something just because others are doing it? I found myself thinking - we really do do what is comfortable to us - does God require more (for us to step out of our comfort zones)? Does what is familiar become boring and we are just mouthing words to God instead of ADORING Him.

Then I started to wonder about the people who can't sing a tune or clap a rhythm if their life depended on it - does that make them less of a worshiper because they are not comfortable with music? (I don't think so). Yet as leaders are we encouraging a certain way of worship is more "right/holly" than others?

My analytical thoughts were dancing all over the place. How much of worship is modeled/led and how much is us as worshipers just letting go? Are we observers or participators? And how much of our FEELINGS get in the way - does God require that we worship Him only in the ways we feel comfortable in, or are part of our personality/make up? Or does He want us to step out into the unknown sometimes (this is were we need to be Spirit led in our worship I believe) - you know - ask Him how He wants to be loved on.

As leaders how do we facilitate allowing people to get out of their comfort zones? I wondered how many times we allow distractions to stop us from meeting Spirit with spirit. As worship leaders - we can minimize some distractions by creating a certain atmosphere -but we must be led by the Spirit.

I started to ask the question what holds us back? [Shame, uncertainties, ourselves...] Then I heard the pastor say something as we were worshiping, he said, "you only go as high as you see yourself."

I began to ask myself - who am I as a worshiper? What am I willing to do for my God? It led me to asking the question - Who are we/Who am I? With this question lies my destiny, my image, my value my person hood. I remembered reading the books by Neil Anderson on our identity in Christ and I wrote down, "I am in Christ. Christ in me, the hope of glory." What we ALLOW ourselves to do for God is wrapped up in our identity and how we see ourselves. Do we know Him? Do we know ourselves? Are we comfortable in our own skin to love on Him in whatever fashion?

All this I was thinking about in worship time and I began to write it down - I sat and wrote a long time (worship was about 1 1/2 hours so I had time). It was intoxicating to watch some enter into focused attention on Jesus (sweet surrender).

And then I stopped writing and I sat and soaked it all in. The music stopped and the pastor came up and began to preach and as he spoke I smiled because he began to speak about our IDENTITY in GOD - and I looked at my mom and leaned over and said "God already gave me the pastors sermon during worship" - as I pointed on the piece of paper I had just filled. Many of the words coming out of the pastors mouth were the same that I had wrote down.

Isn't worship wonderful ? And to think I had spent most of my time sitting, watching and writing.
The Wonder of worship - I think it's more than we allow ourselves to experience.

Life is Fragile and Precious

Life is Fragile and Precious

In September my grandfather had a stroke. Since then he has fought infection after infection and each complication has left us wondering how much longer we have with him. This past week he fell ill again and the doctor said he would not make it. My mom and I have been praying for him and sharing Jesus with him whenever we can. It was on Monday February 26, 2007 that my mom's pastor, Mark, and myself where able to lead my grandfather willingly through a prayer of accepting Jesus into his life. It was after we prayed that a peace came over him and he has been able to rest better. The doctors and nurses were surprised that he made it through the night. I don't know what God has in store for my grandpa - he is old and frail and still very ill. But I do know that grandpa has a place in the heart of Christ and a home in heaven and that gives me great joy and peace.

Isaiah 40:6-8 says, " ...All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field. The grass withers and the flowers fall, because the breath of the Lord blows on them. Surely the people are grass. The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever."

"Emphamis" Technology

Oh how emphamis is technology - the last while I have gone from wanting to pull my hair out because of programs that are hard to manage and computers that freeze and crash.... to thinking it is the most wonderful thing since sliced bread to be able to organize and manage my life on internet and other software programs. It's seems weird to think that this afternoon as I was working on an assignment - that when I couldn't get access to the Internet I thought I that was the end of the world -for a brief second and then I thought I guess I could go to the library it I had to - whatever happened to looking info up in a book? Well - all I know is that it sure is nice to be able to copy and paste the Scripture references that I have been putting in my papers instead of having to type word for word out of the Bible - and that goes for other written sources to. And it sure is nice to have search engines that bring boundless amounts of info. at the click of a button and oh so quick.

I guess I am reflecting on the value of both having technology and yet still being able to look it up in a book. I bet one day there will be a group of people who will not know the value of holding a book in their hands - or better yet of knowing that if their computer crashes... it is not the end of the world. hmmmm.... I suppose there could be more to this thought but for now - I need to go back to looking up something in a textbook of mine and then researching it further on the net. :)
Crystal

So here I am writing in a blog when I should be doing my homework. But there has been a buzz of people talking about blogging lately and so it's stuck in my head. You know I have heard that it is refreshing and therapeutic to write (journal). So since I am stressed about getting my assignments done on time I thought maybe a little therapy is what the good doctor ordered. I actually started a blog a year ago and then I never did anything with it. I wonder how this will go? Maybe because there are others around me who are doing it more often it will be at the forefront of my mind. One of the things that I thought of and the reason I did not blog since last year is the fact that the Internet is accessible to everyone and who wants to let everybody know your business? But maybe it is a good way to learn to practice watching what you say and at the same time telling a story. I will have to put some thought into what I think is valid to say and not to say...
Well anyhow - now I am babbling and all though I do want to begin this journey of journaling I do need to get some homework done.
Crystal